Are you on a journey to parenthood? Or plan to be in the near future?

The age old saying “ when you stop trying it will happen” holds true in so many aspects of life. If there is something I have learned in life it is that not everything happens on my timeline. It usually always happens or something better happens, but the timeline might be a tad off what we want and desire; accepting this is vital to our overall health and wellbeing. We can not force what is not meant for us, and this doesn't mean it isn't meant for us always and forever but it might not be meant for us in that moment when we desire it most. When this happens I suggest deepening your bond with your source whether you have a relationship with God or the Universe. Getting into nature, putting your toes in the sand, walking along the beach, hiking mountains, sitting near a creek and listening to the waterfall, watching a bird fly by; anything to get some of your senses working. _{Questions to ask yourself: what do I see, what do I hear, what do I feel, what do I smell.}

The next person to connect with on this journey is yourself. Do not forget to do things that make you happy, things that inspire you to be better, that keep you creative. When you take care of yourself you are able to take care of others. “I heard it best said that my cup is overflowing so I do not have to pour from my cup, but that others get the overflow and abundance of me”. How beautifully said. Why pour from our own up? Why should we give all of ourselves to others? Sound too selfish? Well maybe…but sometimes we gotta be a little selfish when it comes to ourselves. I find this is super important for you if you are a woman. I have had countless friends that have lost themselves and their identity when they became a mother. Their idenity becomes mom and only mom. They do not get to become themselve again until the kids are grown and move out of the house. Do not lose the part of you that is you on your journey. Whether it is hiring the babysitter for an hour a week, dropping the kiddos off with family or friends or neighbors, whatever you have to do to create time and space for you to be who  you are destined to be outside of being a parent. 

And if you have been stuck in this cycle for too long… take yourself on dates! Go out to eat solo, try at the new coffee shop you saw, go to the beach, go to a museum, check out a new movies, go to a trampoline park, take a mini road trip, take a painting class or a knitting class, rediscover what you love to do . I can guarantee that sometimes we don't do these things on our own because we feel as if we will be lonely… rest-assured you can… it is solitude vs loneliness. And solitude can be necessary for our journey as humans.

The last thing to consider on this journey of relationships, is the relationship with your partner. Has the spice left the conversation? I have talked to some couples that so desperately seek a child that they forget to keep their relationship alive, that they forget that they are two people who have needs above creating life.  Coming together to create a baby is such a beautiful sacred experience to create another human. When we make a chore of it… is it still beautiful and fun and sexy? Or does it feel like taking out the trash 😞  

Ways to keep the spark alive while trying to conceive or while in your relationship: try a new hobby together, take a cooking class, fly a kite, go for a picnic, visit the beach, visit a national park, go on a road trip, eat dessert for breakfast - bring out that inner child, keep the love playful.  Change things up, if you normally do night dates try a day date. Grow your love so you can create a healthy space for baby to arrive. 

Often what I see with couples that have been trying for months or years to conceive is they end up creating a life that is too busy to welcome a baby. There life is full of work, workouts, more work, time with friends, travel, (That is before they work with me 😁  )

Not saying that these things are necessary but when looking at your schedule could you fit a baby in? Could you fit taking a child to school in? Could you fit homeschooling in? Could you fit taking a child to sports practice in? If the answer is no, then maybe just maybe consider re-working your schedule to make the space to invite that future child or children in 🙃 . 

Notes 🙂 

• As always please feel free to message with any questions or suggestions for what you would like to see.

• I am thinking of hosting an online workshop via Zoom at the end of the month. More details to come. 

• Did you know I have a podcast? It is called Vibrant Beginnings: from conception to beyond where I interview women and men on their journeys to parenthood. Episodes are released every Thursday at 1:11 pm on all major streaming services, including Youtube. If you would like to be on the podcast let me know 🙂 I am always excited to hear birth stories and journeys in motherhood or fatherhood.